How I Became the Richest Person in the World

SHORT STORY/SATIRE – ‘Those were tough days. I had sold my scooter to loan money to a local businessman, Firki bhai. He put it in a business that eventually sank because, as it became apparent later, he knew nothing about that line of business! And when I asked for my money back, he avoided me! It’s not like he wasn’t rich already; he just wouldn’t return what he owed me!’

Sheru, the Girl-Boy Dog

A SHORT STORY
“It had got dark earlier than usual, and the park looked like a dark-green canvas with splotches of white. Sheru was sitting cross-legged, ladylike, facing a girl swinging on the swing, as if guarding her. But he saw me a fraction of a second before I saw him. And in that time, he had wagged his tail, got up, and started limp-running to intercept me on the walkway…”

Phunparliamentary

One of the most common expletives in North India (and I’m sure elsewhere) begins with ‘chu’. It is naturally uncivil and, you guessed it, ‘unparliamentary’. What is interesting is that some locals dampen the auditory (but not the semantic) blow of the word by replacing ‘chu’ with ‘phu’.

No Bark, No Bite

Once upon a time, in a big and diverse country, there lived two large communities—Group Ma and Group Mi—among several smaller communities. Group Ma was the biggest and Group Mi the second biggest in numbers. Group Mi people traditionally ate tree bark. A vast majority of Group Ma also ate tree bark, but on specialContinue reading “No Bark, No Bite”

News from 2084, Issue 6: Raghuram in Autonomy Furore

★21 January 2084, Staff Reporter, Indraprastha★ While institutional autonomy was amended out of the Indian constitution in 2019 to \’prevent discord in society\’, in a shocking incident, a high-level constitutional authority was caught thinking unconstitutionally. Shri Raghuram Vibhajan, the head of the Bhartiya Sanskriti Aayog, the top policymaking body of the country, came under attackContinue reading “News from 2084, Issue 6: Raghuram in Autonomy Furore”

News from 2084, Issue 5: Odd-Even Starts Again

★20 January 2084, Agencies, Indraprastha★ Government today began the implementation of its election promise to fight pollution in the capital. People will henceforth be categorised as \’Odd\’ or \’Even\’ based on their looks. The govt estimates that the Odd/Even Card will restrict 50% of the population from stepping out of their houses, thereby cutting trafficContinue reading “News from 2084, Issue 5: Odd-Even Starts Again”

News from 2084, Issue 4: Breakthrough in Traditional Medicine

★19 January 2084, Staff Reporter, Gwalaheri★In a major breakthrough, scientists at Nim Huckim Paramparik Aushadhi Kendra (NHPAK) claim to have developed a health drink that can cure such dangerous illnesses as cancer, AIDS, schizophrenia, homosexuality, and love. Speaking at the launch yesterday, NHPAK\’s chief scientist, V. Rindavan, said that taking this drink 4 times aContinue reading “News from 2084, Issue 4: Breakthrough in Traditional Medicine”

News from 2084, Issue 3: SC Upholds Cricket Ban

★18 January 2084, Staff Reporter, Indraprastha★ Ruling in favour of the government, the Supreme Court yesterday declared cricket illegal under the Bharatiya Sanskriti Act (BS Act). It took the government 64 years to finally achieve this feat after decades of public campaigns and re-education. As some of our older readers may remember, in 2020 cricketContinue reading “News from 2084, Issue 3: SC Upholds Cricket Ban”