The Rich Get Richer Club

Dump: OK, pipe down guys. We’re not making money doing idle chit chat. This meeting of the Rich Get Richer Club is now in session. So, guys, here are the points on today’s agenda. The First is “What’s stopping us from getting richer?” The second is “How can we get even richer?” And the third is “How to want more riches?” Let’s begin with what’s stopping us from getting richer. Eleven and Feku, guys, we had expressly agreed that the border conflict program has to be armed, not unarmed. How do you expect me and Benji to sell weapons?
Footin: Don’t forget about me!
Dump: Yeah, OK. So, guys, please change the rules of engagement. I need you both to send across more purchase orders for combat arms, ammunition, scopes, gear, etc.
Feku: Howdy, Dump. You’re forgetting that Covid has brought the darned economy to a halt and government coffers are literally empty!
Dump: Literally? Be the leader you’ve been elected for and tax the buggers.
Feku: Why should I always be the one to always tax the buggers? Why can’t you or Eleven do it?
Eleven: Coz you’re not yet aatmanirbhar. And you’re called Feku. That’s why.
Footin: Just spin a web. I can supply the tech like last time. We have made some delicious updates!
Feku: With oil prices crashing, people are beginning to question the logic of increasing the prices. Why can’t Soulman and Footin do something about it?
Dump: Soulman and Benji, what are you whispering and chuckling to each other about? Care to share?
Soulman: Uh … nothing, I was just congratulating Benji on winning the election. And he was thanking me for helping.
Footin: Dump, bro, stop fooling around and make sure you win the elections. We’ve got a lot riding on you.
Dump: Yeah, yeah, I’ve got the people nicely riled up and polarized. There’s no way I won’t win. Thanks to Feku’s formula.
Feku: He he! Just don’t steal my 56-inch idea. That’s trademarked! Use Eleven instead.
Eleven: I’m at your service. We can hack a few servers and leave our footprint. Both your people and mine will be happy! If you don’t win after that, then that’s your fault. Why don’t you stop tweeting for while?
Benji: Guys, let’s focus on making money. Soulman, what’s up with oil prices? Why are they falling?
Soulman: Guys, you gotta stop Musk-type nonsense.
Dump: Soulman, relax, the electricity for electric cars is going to come from oil-based power plants! I’ll make sure of it.
Soulman: That’s fine then. But we all need to raise the prices now, in tandem. Enough of this new-agey bullshit called oil crash.
Feku: Just wait until Covid situation improves. I’m raking in taxes on fuel prices.
Footin: I’m with you Soulman. Feku, we gotta bounce back. Your Feku Cares fund is flush now. In fact, I have the exact numbers. Stop pretending that you care.
Dump: Okay guys, as decided, we’ll raise taxes, instigate armed conflict, and hack each others computers to raise anxiety levels. More public anxiety means more money for us. Jonshun,
Ballsnarrow, you guys have been awfully quiet.
Jonshun: Umm.. I want a cut from the Covid vaccine business. I, like Dump and Feku, ensured that many of my flock got sick.
Footing: Hey hey, I did all the hard work!
Eleven: Wait a minute! We had the demographics and global reach to operationalize it! I have kept it under a tight lid. So I deserve more than half the business.
Dump: But Feku also offered!
Feku: Yes, yes, look at our numbers! Soon, we’ll be the biggest market for your vaccines. I’m sorry but I’m gonna negotiate hard for my cut.
Ballsnarrow: And what about me? I’m ahead of you! And I’m willing to cut down more rain forests for vaccine factories. Much more than you, Feku!
Soulman: Damnit! What about us desert peeps?
Benji: Dump, you gotta invade something man. Ask your agencies to foment trouble in some African country. We need to take a big slice of their “emerging economy” pie. We need to sell more weapons.
Feku and Eleven aren’t enough. And please raise oil prices for Soulman’s sake. Coz we can’t get a cut from the vaccine money, can we?
Dump: OK, more false flags, more deforestation, more sickness, more rhetoric, more fossil fuel consumption, more taxation, and more money for all of us. All in agreement, say “aye”.
All: Aye!
Feku: I gotta get back now guys. My Monkey needs a bath. Let’s continue next time.
Ballsnarrow: Me too. I need to keep up being an asshole. I gotta win the next elections like Feku.
All: Bye! Later! TTYL. Seeya! Adios! Cheers!
Feku: Oh, hey, how’s the weather in Cayman Islands these days? Gotta to open a new Aatmanirbhar Cares account.

Published by Anupam Choudhury

I'm a writer, editor, and blogger from New Delhi, India.

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