It\’s Time to Thank God—And Make Some Changes

I guess it\’s time I thanked God for sending me down as an upper caste Hindu male. Now, if only I could also pretend that I hate minorities and find gau mutra delicious—that\’d set me up nicely for the next quarter century or so. I hope I\’m able to coz I\’ve heard terrible things about concentration camps.

I\’ll learn to hate books and love TikTok. I was never very good at history, but I can discard the sense of it too. I\’ll add more saffron to my diet—I\’ve heard it\’s an aphrodisiac. I\’ll bench-press my way to a 56\” chest. Instead of just keeping it in my heart, I\’ll broadcast my love for my nation. I\’ll add government-mandated prefixes to my Twitter handle. I\’ll take up vegetarianism seriously (goats and chicken may become deities soon). I\’ll hire an ad agency to market myself. I\’ll learn how to troll effectively and deflect logical reasoning. I\’ll attach a pair of blinkers to my eyes.

Being a minority in a minority-hating nation sucks. So while I won\’t be able to give up independent thinking fully, I\’ll pretend hard that I\’m fully integrated with the hive. That\’ll be my sacrifice on the altar of democracy. Cheers to the good days ahead!


Published by Anupam Choudhury

I'm a writer, editor, and blogger from New Delhi, India.

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