Everyday of my life is like an unfolding story. A TV series. Episode after episode. Some amazingly exciting. Some woefully tiring. And I am the lead actor, I am the director, the writer, the greatest fan and the worst critic.
Sometimes I just want to switch off the TV and sometimes I want to change the channel to something more exciting or something more hopeful. But alas, the producer of the series, a.k.a. God, has not given me that much liberty. I can\’t even quit the role I\’ve been given until he says so. I\’m like a puppet whose strings are in his hands. Is more directorial freedom possible? Can I script my own role more freely without the constant interference of the producer?
On other times I feel, as the lead actor, I throw too many tantrums. I think many a times I have refused script opportunities, roles and dialogues given by the producer simply because I was not in the mood. Is it possible that because I am not taking control of the role, the producer has to step in so often?
— first written on 11 February 2004.